Scenes from the CTA: The Ass Man

Date: April 7, 2010

Time: 5:46 pm

Location: 66 Chicago Bus

(Cold windy, Chicago day. The bus driver has just closed the door, and  high-powered executives, busy moms, hipsters and nerdy passengers struggle to hang on.)

Bus driver

Sir, could you please step back? I need to see my mirror.

Dude

There’s no where TO go.

Bus Driver

I can’t go anywhere until you move away from the mirror.

Dude

I can’t go anywhere unless it’s UP SOMEONE’S ASS!!

Bus Driver

Maybe that’s where you SHOULD go!

Dude

Maybe that’s where the CTA SHOULD GO!

(A juvenile, angry exchange between the Bus Driver and Dude about getting off the bus and needing to to make a radio show in 20 minutes proceeds as passengers look on quietly.)

Dude

(After a few minutes of welcomed silence)

Sorry if I grabbed someone’s ASS. It’s too crowded in here!!

Scene.

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Filed under Chicago, city life, CTA, frustrations

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